| Anger |
[May. 12th, 2008|10:52 pm] |
Anger
Antidote to Anger
If you are feeling angry, the easiest way of dealing with it, and which doesn’t need great understanding of high Buddhist philosophy, is to simply have a friend or loved one come to you and hug you and just show love and affection for you.
Anger’s Antidote
All you need is someone who’s brave enough to hug you and hold your hand; that’s enough to help you deal with your anger. There’s no point telling you about high Buddhist philosophy which you don’t understand. If you are feeling angry, the easiest way of dealing with it, and which doesn’t need great understanding of high Buddhist philosophy, is to simply have a friend or loved one come to you and hug you and just show love and affection for you. That’s enough! That’s all it takes to help you deal with the anger! If you need a book to read on anger, I recommend reading His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama’s book, “Healing Anger”.
Agony Aunt
The best way to diffuse your anger is to look at my photo or of an image of the Buddha and to pour out your sufferings and complaints to it. The best person to listen to your worries and complaints is someone with long ears-the Buddha! So what you can do is complain to the Buddha by having an image of the Buddha in front of you and pouring out your heart to the image. Feel that the Buddha is listening. Also, you should try recording the complaints you make to the Buddha. After you’ve complained enough to the Buddha image and have cooled off, rewind the recording and listen to yourself complaining. This method is helpful because first, you let off steam and get it out of your system. Second, you get to hear yourself speak and will find how yucky it is! When I was young, I used to complain before Buddha images a lot, till one day I prayed to be able to listen to people’s complaints instead. Because of that one prayer, now everyone complains to me!
Appreciating Others
We are all interconnected. If you have gold or money but there is no one who sells clothing, you will have no clothes to wear despite being rich. Also, do you know the person who invented cloth, shampoo, or the glasses you wear? No. Yet, we have forgotten to be grateful to other people. Without others, there is no way that our lives would have all its comforts. We must not forget how much of our comforts and happiness depend on the work and kindness of others.
Past Lives
In our previous lives, we have been in different forms and shapes due to the different causes and conditions. However, despite the fact that we have lived through countless past lives, we must look forward.
A lot of people like to know what they have been in their previous lives. This is a favorite question people like to ask me! Well, we’ve all most definitely been animals and insects. However, if you keep dwelling on the past, you’ll have no future. You need to condition your current existence so as to condition future lives. I’ve seen beings who are quarrelsome and overly defensive, and in their next lives, they usually become scorpions or crabs, creatures that like to fight. A person who is used to being rich will want to look for a nice home. In the same way, if you are used to being angry or having other negative emotions, in your next life you will continue to seek out these emotions and express them. Our future “home”, i.e. our future life, is decided by our karma, We have the freedom now to create conditions for future lives. I know that I can’t be Buddha in this lifetime; I don’t think any of us in this life can even become a high lama. However, what I have is conditions from my previous lives to enable me to stick very closely to the Dharma. This, as my Guru, Khenrinpoche Geshe Lama Lhundrup says, comes from conditions of previous lives. You wonder how lamas can do all the things they do. You can do them too! If Milarepa, who was a murderer, could become a Buddha in that lifetime, you can too! I recommend you read Milarepa’s life story.
Anger and Buddha Nature
What is it that causes us to get angry? One important reason is when others hurt the people close to us. Buddhist texts teach that it’s due to our own egos that causes us to get angry. but if you think about it, actually we often get angry because someone has insulted, hurt or threatened someone we love, which then indirectly affects our egos. All of us have this thought of wanting to care for and protect the people we love. This ability of ours to loves and care for others shows that we have Buddha nature inside us. Even insects and animals have this Buddha nature, which is evident from how they care for their own families. However, because we are not yet enlightened, our Buddha nature is not pure; it is polluted and obscured. All of us can and will become a Buddha one day. You must at least intellectually understand this. We all will become Buddhas, it’s just a matter of when and how much we want to become a Buddha. We can all become Buddhas, but you must want it for yourself and strive to attain it yourself; no one can make you a Buddha. In fact, no one can make you happy., Only you can make yourself happy! We have got to get this foundation right, and understand that our happiness ultimately depends on ourselves, not others. We cannot go on blaming others for our suffering.
You have the great power to make decisions as to whether you want to be happy. Whether you are happy or not is not in the hands of some god or any other person. You must understand this. If you don’t want to be happy, no one can make you happy. If you’re in a bad mood, everywhere you go or whatever you experience, you will perceive as causing you unhappiness because your all your perceptions have been coloured by your bad mood.
So if someone causes harm to your loved one, the best way is to first relax. People often say that the best way to deal with difficult situations, such as when you see your loved ones getting harmed, is to leave things as they are and “let time heal things”. However, in reality, time only covers things up and doesn’t really solve the problem. You must actively take steps to deal with the problem.
Teaching By Lama Thuten Namdrol Dorje
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